Why I Do Business The Old-Fashioned Way – aka The Human Touch
Watching the sunset this evening from my balcony, I was thinking about an interesting conversation I had this weekend.
I was asked a question by two persons I highly respect. This wasn't the first time I've been asked this question, but you know how I love questions!
After hearing my answer, they suggested I ought to tell my readers about it too.
So here we are.
They asked me why I don't use a more sophisticated LMS (Learning Management System) platform or payment gateway to instantly send out the priced guides & courses people order from me ...
Like I do with my free guides and stuff.
Well, that's a reasonable question.
Here's my reasonable answer.
I understand very well the pleasure of getting an order right away through an automated system. I certainly don't blame online sellers for doing it that way — it's the norm, after all.
But, to be honest, I'd rather give you the longer lasting benefit of personal access to me when you need it most.
Delivering orders to you myself allows me to do that better, and lets me communicate with you more directly as my student.
Yes, it takes a little more time (a day or two) to get your order. And it takes a little more effort on my part to email it to you this way ... but I believe it's darn worth it.
This is actually very close to the heart of my mission. For that reason, I'll write an email about it tomorrow, to go along with the other tips and tools I send out a couple of times a week.
I'll add more more details about this whole lowkey approach I have to doing business online, and how it can help you do business in a way that's genuine and trustworthy, and better for everyone, in the midst of all the AI junk and crazy promises filling the internet nowadays.
Not only helping your business, but improving your communication all around, in every relationship.
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How To Save a Fumble
Over the years, quite a few very smart and hardworking individuals have asked me how to get their confidence back on track, and regain their flow, after they make a mistake in an important interview, talk, or any other kind of presentation.
It's a good question. Asking it gave me one more reason to respect them.
Nonetheless, many of them told me my answer seemed "counter-intuitive" ...
At first.
Later, they came back and said it was the best advice they could have gotten.
So, I figure I should share it, and here it is:
What to do when the spotlight shines on your imperfect humanity?
Turn It Up!
As strange as it may seem
— that is where your magic power is hidden.
You might be surprised at how powerful admitting a mistake, or otherwise admitting your humanity, can make your presentation.
In fact, something like the "Pratfall Method":
Intentionally making a little slip or two just to create a human connection, or to increase the person-to-person engagement, with your audience.
Is way better than this method:
Trying to bury your mistake in "powering on" and hoping nobody noticed.
The second method will give you more stress and leave you questioning the effectiveness of your presentation. It will actually deepen the black hole of your imperfect confidence.
You'll be trapped constantly trying to fill that black hole of fear as it just keeps getting getting bigger ... Because what it really means is you are begging for a sign from your audience that you're OK.
And that is totally opposite to the approach you need for success.
Remember that you are there to help your audience:
You are the doctor, not the patient.
The presentation isn't about you either, the presenter. Rather, your personality, skills, talent, etc., all of what you are and have, will be engaged in something bigger than you.
That is: the transfer, or channel if you like, of important information to your audience (your presentation topic) ... In other words, you are not the message. You are the medium for the message.
Sure, we all have emotions. It's always an exciting and nervous moment before you speak in front of people, or even before you speak to just one very important person.
That's a natural human response because, no matter how independent and free-spirited you are, a sense of belonging and a genuine recognition of your abilities is something all humans need.
These two human needs come right after your basic survival and safety are taken care of.
So, in order to reach other human beings, you need a solid anchor for your presentation that isn't just about your own feelings.
You need something that is stronger than a pdf on how to pep yourself up or convince yourself that you "can do it".
You need a starting point that goes deeper and gives direction to all the presentation skills courses you see offered on the net, about how to develop the most irresistible voice, eyes, attention-grabbing intro, and so on ...
It's like this: After 25 years of giving presentations, including my own experience as a business owner and manager, and teaching presentation skills to 1000s of entrepreneurs and professionals, I've found that there is only one reliable method to make yourself the confident presenter you need yourself to be.
The only approach to presenting with confidence consistently, so you can turn those wild feelings into positive energy, begins with understanding very clearly how your presentation answers the needs of your audience.
You need to show that you understand the outcome they want and tell them how to get to the outcome they want.
Furthermore, you need to sincerely believe in this process. When you believe in it, your audience can believe in it.
Certainly, you can learn a few tricks and fool some of the people some of the time. But you can't fool all of the people all of the time, as the saying goes, and you can't even fool some of the people for very long.
The insecurity of a career based on fooling people for as long as you can does not contribute to your mental health. As you saw above in Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs, the stability of your resources (i.e., your safety and security) is even more urgent than being a respectable member of society.
This is why I highly recommend beginning your career or business, especially in sales and marketing but also in any other kind high-contact high-communication area, with an approach that is authentic and respectful of your humanity and everyone else's -- an approach which, in fact, serves humanity.
Now, that's a plan to guide us in all areas of life.
But it's going to require us to understand a few things as well as we can:
1. Understand what it is you're offering. Is it information, a recommendation, a product/service, or training? Or is it something more personal like companionship, parenthood, providing a home, mentoring, and love?
2. Understand who it's for and learn as much about them and their specific needs as possible.
3. Understand exactly how what you offer satisfies their needs.
4. And of course, understand how you can develop your communication skills in presentation, speaking and teaching ... Learn and practice all you can.
Skills such as speaking at the right pace, enunciating, using your eyes, your hands ... I teach all that in my ever-popular Power Speaking course. (You can get the recorded version here.)
But DON'T start clicking and ordering that now. I do not want you to order it until you know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
The truth:
Knowing and believing in this is, in the long run, the only reliable way to remember how to let your worry go and allow your message to use you ...
As a human instrument, with all our funny imperfections included, to serve those whom we can serve, with our talent, our skills, our experience, and everything else we got.
You're not doing this to save yourself and your feelings, but to transfer something bigger than you to your audience — the message you believe in, that will help your audience and satisfy their need and solve their problem.
This is how to turn your weakness into strength, which can handle every mistake comfortably and confidently, so you can laugh at yourself under pressure ...
And which results in a converted audience.
That's my experience and I hope it helps you.
One last note:
You can always find a news article somewhere telling you who the richest man in the world is. They've got billions and billions of dollars.
But have you ever considered who the poorest man in the world is?
I'll tell you.
It's the guy who can't afford to laugh at himself.
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Love & Respect Beyond the Comfort Zone
What gets you out of feeling miserable after a big failure, betrayal, or loss?
For me, it always comes back to practicing love and respect. I am not so perfect at it, so I mean "practicing" like trying to improve and "practicing" like a standard of behavior.Especially with the people I totally disagree with. Like when you know you are so right that any reasonable human being should see it automatically.
At one time, you might've even started calling those human beings stupid, crazy, or immoral because they don't accept as fact what you accept as fact. I hope you're not doing that anymore, because you deserve to treat yourself with more dignity.
I learned in management that two persons can have the same basic needs and concerns, but they come at it from totally different angles and use completely different words to describe it.
That's true diversity. It's the magic of being a member of the human race.
But we can only enjoy it when we can make ourselves patient and tolerant enough to communicate respectfully when we disagree. To work through apparent differences to the values, needs and concerns we do share.
Especially when you know someone is dead wrong. Try to keep the big picture in mind. I believe in a picture bigger than gargling loudly in pride about how right I am.
Of course, it's not your fault if your first reaction is to destroy those who don't accept as truth what you know is truth.
We are all being trained to react that way by people who make money from getting us hooked on that reaction ... It's a dopamine addiction, essentially. The chemical is being administered by relentless digital mendacity.
How's it work?
In 24/7 feeds, we are disrespected into ignoring human complexity, via writing tricks that season handpicked facts with "omitting parts of the story or context", "setting up false dichotomies", "excluding the middle" and serve it all fried up with emotionally charged words. Yummy.
I know all the persuasion games. I've been a marketing copywriter for 16 years. Journalists learn the same tricks and they're paid to use them constantly.
"Smart people believe this," they say. It's Marketing 101. Making you fear being left out of the in-crowd. This one even has an acronym: FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). It's among the top 3 most common marketing tactics. Check out the ads you see everywhere.
The journalists take it even further, though, don't they?
"Join the smarty party and you get a license to despise everyone else."
Kind of like a teenage clique, isn't it? Not really a call to our "higher nature".
Frankly, not a single one of us gets to be a superior being. Our human nature doesn't permit it: The line between being RIGHT and being SELF-RIGHTEOUS is not perceived well enough in our primate brains.
Because we're this way, you've probably noticed that we have to learn to love each other instead. Love each other in a world where it's hard to love each other. That's what makes our love worth something.
When we begin with the premise of others' inferiority to us, we can't disagree respectfully and we can't answer their questions in a way that gives them confidence in us.
Then you don't reach anybody. You don't help anybody. People aren't willing to support you when you don't give them what they need.
But there's something required of you and me to even get us to the front door of other peoples' minds .... You'll discover that humans will go mighty far for you with just a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
May I humbly offer you a way that makes your listeners more receptive to your criticism? A way that can lead to finding common ground and cooperation — rather than increased conflict?
This is brought to you by a philosopher named Dennett. I found this summary of his idea on reddit.
Put it into practice and see what happens in a month.
Unless the mob is in reality banging on your door with machetes, pitchforks and firearms .... Unless that's really your situation, you just might find something more interesting out there.
What did I find beyond the Comfort Zone ...
The other side of dishing out the criticism is being able to answer criticism with the respect that makes people feel good about you, and gives them confidence to work with you. It can even make them feel proud to be associated with you.I made this to help you find those people ... and to help others become those people. From what I'm told, it's helped out around 2,000 professionals so far.
I want it to help you, too. Especially now. Here's link I made to offer you a 20% discount on everything till the end of the month. Click here ☟